The hard times

Note 007: Mind, body, community

My promise of Andrew’s Notes to you all was that these notes would be my uncensored personal notes on all the hard questions to help you on your own journey of realising creative freedom.

So far we have explored my key overarching fundamental themes and questions:

How do I get clients?

• Note 001: Connection equals clients (Networking)

How do know what to charge?

• Note 002: Money and Value (Fees)

What are my 1st steps to registering a business and website?

• Note 004: Attention please! (Marketing)*

*Probably ill named in hindsight…

How do I manage my time across projects and stages?

• Note 005: Myths, confessions, strategies (Time)

How do I choose between different work space options?

• Note 006: A dojo of one’s own (Space)

We are getting there!

Perhaps one of the hardest questions however is how internally manage the hard times.

You all know me as an eternal optimist (which I am!), but that does not mean I am immune to the really challenging times in life whether in practice, or personally.

Here are my 6 personal strategies for the really hard ones.

1. Talk

Beyond my immediate family, I have 1 or 2 people that I can call on for the really tough stuff. They are good listeners and have my best interests at heart, and I theirs, no matter what.

You know who you are - and thank you.

Be that friend for those without.

2. Laugh

I have an offbeat sense of humour and can find the absurd in almost any situation. Life is pretty funny. I love to laugh no matter how dark a period is, I have always been a fan of stand up comedy which thrives on such observations.

This is a great stress neutraliser in the context of project challenges, but also very valuable within your personal life.

I think that the trigger is this: as I think of something funny, I’ll often smile before saying it, which can really help the other person smile to (who I am comforting, or who is comforting me).

Give it a go.

3. Move

When I was younger in my teenage and archi-student days, surfing fixed everything. Busier now, I realise that I was very privileged to grow up a walk to the beach, for you it might be skateboarding, bike riding or jogging - if you loved it as a teenager even better.

Or just walk.

For me the bonus of the ocean is that awesome salty, mineral feel, the vitamin D, leaving the world behind on shore for a minute.

No phone, no time worries, and beautiful.

4. Meditate

9 years ago, pretty much when I was about to launch ADAD, we had lived in the city for years and I was nowhere near the ocean, overworked, young kids and my usual boundless energy was being tested.

A massive David Lynch fan, I found it very strange that he write so much about meditation – that did not fit the dark, surreal film sensibility that I adored.

I had noticed Tim Brown’s Meditation studio in Paddington before over the years, and for some reason walked in one day in 2012. I was extremely sceptical of the Vedic / Transcendental Meditation claims, but thought I would give it a try. 9 years later that practice is a lifesaver for the very hard times.

Secrets out!

Yes, that is part of why I am a very calm person.

5. Gratitude

For me, my optimistic nature means that I can find a silver lining to most things, it’s just my nature and I really do not know how else to look at the world, even if I try.

Some things seem to have no silver lining of course. In that case you can reframe this lack as gratitude for its more common opposite, or maybe aa valuable lesson was learned not to be repeated.

6. Community

Being friendly and genuinely interested in almost everyone I meet, baristas, locals, parents of other kids at school, and on and on, makes going about my day very enjoyable. Building such bite-size repetitive relationships mean that you can pick up if anyone looks off, ask him or her about it, and the same will happen to you.

Family is a big one for me, especially our own children, but I am popping it in here under broader community as I realise not everyone is as fortunate to have a loving family.

PS if you think you do not have any community, you’re wrong! You are part of this one.

My Dad, Martin Donaldson, passed away this morning.

He was a very humble, kind, introverted person – the opposite to Mum and my own extroversion.

Born in Carlton 1951, he was a radiographer most of his life, and started a software company, Donaldson Imaging in the early 90s.

I remember the pride he had paying a small fortune for the original Macintosh in the 80s, which I shared a bedroom with, a feat I would mirror forking out for the 1st edition G5 Mac in 2004.

I remember him coding Commodore 64 games in the 80s, is designing his own logo in the 90s, and being so proud of his vector calculator software for CSIRO– I did not understand it at the time, yet here we are as architects working with vector curves on Macs all day long.

My love of music and guitar comes from my Dad and my brother’s big-wave surfing career began with being pushed onto surf at Apollo Bay as a 2 year old by Dad, before he permanently moved the family to our other favourite holiday destination, Terrigal on the NSW Central Coast.

He wad very proud of my Architecture, and of me pursuing my dream. He would enjoy hearing about all the new projects right up until the end.

One of the last thing I told him last night, was that I was so grateful of having loving parents that pushed me to work hard and pursue my dreams, and that my pet project (these notes) are in his honour to help out these of you who may not have that support network.

Yesterday was the hardest day of my life. I had friends take me for a run, meditated with Dad in his room, and talked through all the great memories for hours.

I cant tell if he could hear, I think he could, but I told him everything would be alright then turned out the light.

Hopefully these tips can help you through the really hard stuff.

Be kind to each other.

Life is Short.

Rest in Peace Dad.

Andrew, 13.8.2021